


Let's, Shall We, Let's

by akissontitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aru Arlert, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akissontitan/pseuds/akissontitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She winks at him, and it’s moments like these that have him wondering if she sees right through him, if she can tell just how much he’s always wanted to be with her.</p><p>(Trans girl Armin - NOT genderbend.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's, Shall We, Let's

**Author's Note:**

> Manic pixie dreamgirls are okay if they’re trans girls.
> 
> Trans girl armin (who in this fic and all other fics featuring her will be called Aru) and (trans) guy Jean. If you’re going into this thinking “ohh so it’s like an Armin genderbend” im gonna need you to navigate away. But otherwise enjoy!!

_part i_

“Let’s go shopping.”

The way Jean’s heart jumps upon hearing Aru’s voice, yet simultaneously slumps when he sees his bedside clock blinking “7:59 AM – SAT” is not dissimilar to the way people feel before they go into cardiac arrest, or so he imagines.

“Aru, it’s _early_!”

“Yeah it’s early, but not _too_ early, you always say _too early_ when you really mean it. Bus station at quarter past?”

He can tell she’s smiling even through the phone line, and even though it’s slightly maddening to admit, she is right. He does wanna go. He always wants to go when it’s just the two of them. It’s only ever _too early_ when Eren’s coming too, and he’s surprised Aru hasn’t caught onto that part yet. He nods in agreement but before he can realise that she can’t see him, there’s white noise at her end of the line. _Figures_ , he thinks to himself as he rolls out of bed in search of clean clothes, _just like her to not give a guy time to object._

As quickly as he can muster he pulls on a pair of jeans and a shirt that isn’t quite fresh but ranks at least a passing mark on the sniff test, which is the best he can do at 8am. A lot of deodorant later and he’s out the door, giving a rather minimalistic explanation of his plans to his mother as he shuts the door behind him. He jogs to the bus station to try and calm his unnecessary nerves, because this _isn’t_ a date, it wasn’t a date _last time_ either, _she just likes having a friend around when she shops for clothes, don’t get excited Jean._

When he rounds the corner and sees her sitting at the bus stop, his heart goes into spasms again. Her eyes meet his and she smiles, warm and inviting like the early morning chill can’t touch her, and he’s reminded of why he lets her drag him on these sorts of adventures.

She stands up and greets him with a hug, and Jean suddenly feels like he should have put more effort into dressing this morning. She smells like flowers, like a bakery, like sparklers when they’re lit up at their brightest. He probably smells like a sock.

“Glad you could make it!” He can feel her breath on his chest when she speaks. If she turned her head she could probably hear his heart beating louder and louder for each second they embrace.

“Tch, as if I had a choice.”

She takes an awkward half-step away from him and throws him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I just wanted to be there when the mall opens. There’s a sale at Cotton On.”

She kind of looks disheartened which Jean could never handle at the best of times, so on impulse he taps her cheek gently, prodding the smile back to her face. Their bus pulls up in front of them, but Jean doesn’t even notice it until Aru pulls out her bus card. Her smile is so beautiful.

 

X

 

The Cotton On staff aren’t nearly as kind first thing in the morning as compared to usual, so Jean has to linger at the doorway of the little dressing rooms alcove _“to prevent fraternisation issues”_ when normally he’d be in there with her, eyes squeezed shut until she told him to open. 

It’s not like they haven’t seen each other naked before, Aru entertained a brief stint on the soccer team in freshman year before she transitioned, but something about her getting undressed so close to him, in such a private setting (if a changing room could be called such a thing), always had him blushing like a loser. Perhaps it was for the best that he was banished to the outskirts today.

Just as Jean began contemplating sitting down and maybe making a little scarf pile to rest on, he hears the click of a stall door open and Aru walks out. She’s wearing a white summery dress that looks like it was made for her, although they both know nothing in these stores ever truly is. She flatters that dress though, she makes _it_ look good, and he hopes she can tell he thinks so without him having to say all of it out loud.

“This was the only one without those fitted boob cups. They must be in this season, which is just my luck because god knows they aren’t built for anyone under a solid C cup..”

She’s rambling and they both know it, hands smoothing over the clinched waistband and lace of the skirt.

“You look really cute,” Jean swallows, taking a cautious step forward and doing his best to admire her figure without blushing or sweating too hard. “Like, really beautiful.”

Aru blushes and a nervous sort of giggle escapes her lips, crystal-blue eyes sparkling cheekily.

“I bet you say that to all the girls you take shopping.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re the only girl in my life and you know it, Aru.”

She winks at him, and it’s moments like these that have him wondering if she sees right through him, if she can tell just how much he’s always wanted to be with her. But the moment is gone and she’s slipping back into her booth to get changed, and he’s left paused alone in the doorway again, an ache chest telling him that they would have kissed just then, if they were a couple.

 

_part ii_

 

"Let’s go to Ymir’s party.”

Jean has no idea why he answered his phone. Well, he has _some_ idea, and it’s mostly because of a particularly cute blonde girl who has him wrapped around her little finger. That doesn’t mean he can’t try and put up a fight though.

“It’s already eleven, I have assignments to do, I wanna _sleep_!”

“Pick one excuse and stick with it! Ugh, c’mon, Ymir throws the best parties!” She laughs down the line and Jean’s resolve is already breaking, he hasn’t been to a party in ages, he hasn’t gotten drunk in ages, this essay isn’t _really_ due Monday, surely not...

“Please, Jean?”

He caves.

An hour later and they’re at Ymir’s house, and to Jean’s surprise it doesn’t look like the party is showing any signs of slowing down. Connie greets them both with a kiss on the cheek (he’s drunk but he’d do that even if he wasn’t), and a cup of something thrust into each of their hands. It’s only a few tablespoons of liquid, and Jean eyes it suspiciously before giving Connie the same look. He just shrugs.

“We ran out of shot glasses,” he shouts over the thumping music, “still tastes the same comin’ back up!”

Jean turns to Aru, ready to scoff with her about how much of a terrible idea this whole thing was, but she’s got the paper cup to her lips and is knocking back the mouthful of liquid with determination. Against his better judgement he copies her, and regrets it instantly. He’s never tasted anything so strong before. The sour stench down his throat feels awful, but he thinks it was almost worth it when Aru grins and grabs his hand, leading him deep into the cramped mass of sweaty teens dancing in the downstairs living room.

Aru shrugs off her coat and throws it on the pile in the corner, revealing the cute white dress she’d bought during their shopping trip the week prior. It looks decidedly less innocent on her than last time though, paired with killer heels and deep red lipstick. She looks incredible. Delicious. He tries to look away before he blushes to match her lips but the motion makes his head spin. _That drink works fast_ is all he has time to think before Aru is taking his hand once again and dancing with him, a grin permanently fixed on her face as she sways to the rhythm.

Aru dances like a fiend, Jean discovers; it’s only a few minutes before her hands are pressing his to her sides and she’s grinding against him, eyes framed by thick makeup and causing the space between his legs to tingle every time they meet his. Of course she doesn’t stick to him, that’d be _too_ much of a dream come true, but watching her make her way around the room, dancing with Connie and Reiner and Marco, doesn’t hurt so bad when he can still feel the heat of her body against him like she were still there.

That thought makes his body heat even more though and soon it’s a little too much for him to handle. His head spins as he fights his way through the crowd to the deck outside, and the night air on his skin has him feeling much clearer.

The only other people out there are a pair he doesn’t recognise, kissing and giggling in one of Ymir’s – Ymir’s parents’? – roomy deckchairs. He wonders if he and Aru would giggle like that when they made out, or if she’d be more serious with him, more soft sighs and almost-silent moans. He wonders if he should stop thinking of being intimate with Aru. He wonders if he can.

He wonders how much alcohol was crammed into that tiny shot.

“You alright?”

Jean recognises the voice as Aru’s instantly, although it sounds off-kilter and slurred in a way he’s never heard from her before. Soon she’s at his side, arms braced on the deck fence and matching his own pose, although she can’t seem to stay entirely still.

“Yeah, just needed some room to breathe.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“No.”

“I know.”

He raises an eyebrow at her, and she matches the look with as much accuracy as someone well and truly on their way to becoming shitfaced could hope for.

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“It means, Jean m’boy, that sometimes I get the... the distinct feeling that you like me.”

Jean’s heart leaps to his throat. The alcohol in his system dulls his thinking but there are alarm bells ringing in his brain, _she knows, she knows, you complete fuckwit how could you ever think you were being subtle..._

They fade slightly when he sees the way she’s looking at him. She’s smiling, almost coyly, and leaning in slightly. He can’t truthfully tell how much of this is the alcohol talking, but he lets himself pretend that she’d be acting this way right now even if they were both stone-cold sober.

“You’re thinking about kissing me right now, aren’t you?”

He wishes she was wrong. She isn’t, of course.

“You _should_ kiss me.”

Jean kisses her.

It’s not his first kiss, but for the way his lips stumble on hers it may as well be. After that it’s perfect though, perfect and brief, the two of them brushing tongues for only a second before they pull back. 

His lips tingle, and for once he doesn’t have to wonder what it’s like to have her. For once he lets himself pretend like this means something, because maybe it _does_ mean something. Aru leads him back inside and they lose themselves in dancing. Jean has never felt stranger, and he doesn’t think it has anything to do with the drinks.

 

X

 

They end up crashing at Ymir’s house, which is probably for the best considering no one they knew with a license was in any state fit for driving that night. When Jean wakes up he regrets it immediately; there’s a sickening taste in his mouth and his body feels dirty and sore. He remembers going to bed just as the sun came up, Aru by his side, the two of them crashing in a spare bed that was already occupied by a passed-out Eren and Mikasa. Eren’s bare foot is now almost touching his face, where it certainly wasn’t when he’d fallen asleep. It’s hairy. His head hurts. He wouldn’t mind being less alive than he is right now.

There’s a rustling beside him and he turns towards it, careful to keep the foot from coming into contact with him in any way. Beside him Aru is slowly blinking her eyes open, thin golden hair mussed in a cute fuzzy halo around her face. She looks nothing short of adorable. Jean smiles at her and she smiles back wearily, and it’s about then that he remembers what they did last night. He purses his lips. If he concentrates, he can still taste her kiss through th alcohol and morning breath. 

“G’morning,” she whispers, voice cracking ever so slightly as she sits up and rubs her eyes, “Sleep okay?”

“I’ll let you know if I remember.” He manages a shaky grin before manoeuvring around the other still-sleeping bodies on the bed and standing up to stretch. His chest aches, and even though Aru’s right in front of him, the hurt in his body is stronger than his self-consciousness right now. He lifts his sweat-sticky shirt over his head, revealing his binder. _Ah. That’s why it hurts._

“Jean, you slept in your binder?” Aru sounds nothing short of mortified. In a flash she’s at his side, staring at the indents on his skin from the hem of the material, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“I didn’t exactly mean t-” Jean’s words trail off as he sees Aru shimmy out of the top half of her dress, revealing a lacy blue bra. He can feel the blush heating his face turn up to eleven as she unclasps it and hands it to him, right in front of his eyes, before slipping her arms back through the sleeves of her dress.

“Wear it. It should fit you.” 

She shoves it in his face until he has no choice but to take it. It feels warm on his fingers. He tries not to think too hard about it as he unfastens his binder and swaps it with her bra, the soft material making it easier to move already. He replaces his shirt and turns to assess himself in the mirror hanging on the wall.

Seeing himself with boobs again feels kind of like a punch to the gut.

“Thanks.”

He smiles at Aru, but the concern is plain on her face. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Jean never liked feeling vulnerable, but there’s no reason to hide with her. She gets it. She understands what it’s like to not feel quite right. He nods.

In the early morning light, with few cars on the road and even fewer pedestrians, the walk to their respective houses seems short and safe.

 

_part iii_

 

“Let’s kiss again.”

“W-what?”

Jean’s proud of himself for remaining mostly coherent, even though he gave her possibly the least intelligent reply possible. He’s never been good with surprises of any kind, and the surprise of Aru mentioning something like _that_ so offhandedly while they lie on his bed doing homework is definitely the one of the weirdest shocks he’s ever been given in his life.

“Kiss me. Like at the party the other week.” 

He turns and looks at her finally, and notices instantly the scarlet blush across her cheeks. 

“I-I didn’t think you remembered that.”

She giggles quietly. Jean can hardly hear it over the sound of his own heart thumping at his ribcage.

“I guess I... I dunno. I was shy. I didn’t want you to think I only wanted you because I was drunk. I mean, I wasn’t even _that_ drunk, really, I just...”

She’s rambling, and they both know it. She opens her mouth to continue but he cuts her off, lips pressed against hers, and he’s sure that in the half-second it takes her to react, his heart stops beating entirely. She does react, though, and it’s wonderful; sweet, soft mouth moaning whisper-quietly against his own, their bodies realigning to a better angle so they can press against each other, her tongue running gently against his bottom lip until he lets her in. Gently as he can, as if he were cradling a baby mouse, Jean brings his hand up behind her to card through her hair. When they break for a breath, it’s hardly voluntary.

“You always have the best ideas, Aru.”


End file.
